Caroline Goyder
  • HOME
  • ABOUT
    • Caroline
    • TEAM
    • Books
    • TEDx
    • TESTIMONIALS
  • COURSES & PRODUCTS
    • RESOURCES
    • Video Courses – NEW!
    • GRAVITAS ONLINE TRAINING
    • GRAVITAS & CONFIDENCE TRAINING
    • Books
    • Audible Readers Gallery
    • DIGITAL VOICE COACH
    • Gravitas Method audio course
      • audio series one: find your gravitas
      • AUDIO SERIES TWO – MEETINGS WITH GRAVITAS
      • AUDIO SERIES THREE – PHONE CALLS WITH GRAVITAS
      • AUDIO SERIES FOUR – PITCHES WITH GRAVITAS
      • AUDIO SERIES FIVE – PRESENTATIONS WITH GRAVITAS
      • AUDIO SERIES BUNDLE – THE COMPLETE COLLECTION
      • MINI AUDIO DOWNLOADS
    • MINI AUDIO DOWNLOADS
  • WORK WITH US
    • book Caroline to speak
    • Book Coaching With Us
    • book caroline for training
  • BLOG
    • BLOG
    • VIDEO BLOG
  • in the press
  • Contact

Caroline Goyder

Banner
  • HOME
  • ABOUT
    • Caroline
    • TEAM
    • Books
    • TEDx
    • TESTIMONIALS
  • COURSES & PRODUCTS
    • RESOURCES
    • Video Courses – NEW!
    • GRAVITAS ONLINE TRAINING
    • GRAVITAS & CONFIDENCE TRAINING
    • Books
    • Audible Readers Gallery
    • DIGITAL VOICE COACH
    • Gravitas Method audio course
      • audio series one: find your gravitas
      • AUDIO SERIES TWO – MEETINGS WITH GRAVITAS
      • AUDIO SERIES THREE – PHONE CALLS WITH GRAVITAS
      • AUDIO SERIES FOUR – PITCHES WITH GRAVITAS
      • AUDIO SERIES FIVE – PRESENTATIONS WITH GRAVITAS
      • AUDIO SERIES BUNDLE – THE COMPLETE COLLECTION
      • MINI AUDIO DOWNLOADS
    • MINI AUDIO DOWNLOADS
  • WORK WITH US
    • book Caroline to speak
    • Book Coaching With Us
    • book caroline for training
  • BLOG
    • BLOG
    • VIDEO BLOG
  • in the press
  • Contact

How to stay cool (and stop the blush) when all eyes turn to you

written by GoyderCaroline

Question: If I’m in a group scenario and the attention turns to me, suddenly I go bright red. I then panic as I feel that everyone can see my fear and panic. How do I calm down, slow down and get my gravitas back?

giphy.gif

Answer: Visibility and fear of judgement, quite a combination right?! All eyes turn to you…all the eyes staring…you feel cornered, you panic, you blush. And just at the exact moment you should be saying something brilliant you find yourself blushing, frozen with panic, or gibbering something at warp-speed.

I don’t promise to have all the answers. Because if I’m honest, I’m a bit of a blusher occasionally. I’m a pale skinned strawberry blonde – it goes with the turf.

Counterintuitively perhaps, the first thing I’d encourage you to do is embrace the blush. I learned recently that blushing is actually a lovely human quality, because it shows you care about what others think – it shows you have empathy. But I know this won’t convince you – blushing when everyone is staring at you is not something most people want to embrace. When you are blushing all you can do is obsess about the fact that all you can think about is that they know you are blushing, and they are thinking you’re uncomfortable – you’re thinking about them thinking about that, and your colour deepens to a deep mauve and that makes you feel worse and arrrrghh…ENOUGH.

giphy.gif

Here’s how to break the blushing cycle of doom

Step 1 – Get the attention off you for a second. The quickest way to do that is to ask a question – it’s fine to ask a question back to a question if you do it confidently, and then the eyes turn away from you for a moment. Phew, you can breathe.

Step 2 – If you have some water drink it. Take a moment to be in your senses, come back to the moment. Slow down your nervous system, tell it you’re safe. It takes seconds.

Step 3 – Then most importantly of all get your own attention off your heated face, and focus it out on the room. Blushing gets worse when we are locked into the “thinking what they’re thinking” cycle, you may have noticed how it deepens your colour from pink to puce.

The key is to break the cycle by consciously noticing something out there in the space that you’ve never noticed before.

Really place your attention out. Something that someone is wearing. Something in the room, a painting, the carpet and a thing that takes your attention off yourself. if you need to be looking at the audience it might be that someone has great glasses, or five people are wearing red. It gets your attention out of your psychodrama and into the room. And when your attention is off yourself, you get back to normal.

I hope you find that with these tips you can flip from blush back to cool and calm, and start to enjoy those moments of visibility more.

giphy.gif

I shared a short video about this earlier in the week which you can watch by clicking on the link below.

How to get your composure back!

To watch my weekly videos please subscribe to my Youtube channel so you receive a little notification each time a video is released.

How to stay cool (and stop the blush) when all eyes turn to you was last modified: January 17th, 2022 by GoyderCaroline
4
Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest

You may also like

Why does my voice tighten when I...

How To Turn Panic into Power

How Can You Make Your Voice Heard?

Caroline on Twitter

  • The ancients saw much of the training they put their athletes and orators through as skills for self-management.Whe… https://t.co/qKslknP6Mu

    09-Aug-2022

    Reply Retweet Favorite
  • Take your time, don't be afraid to take it slowly...https://t.co/JOAXHKkVjX https://t.co/3S5QkYkEk5

    08-Aug-2022

    Reply Retweet Favorite
  • Does the language you speak affect how you speak? Interesting piece. https://t.co/l83T5nN1VS https://t.co/Q5eQPLTy8i

    08-Aug-2022

    Reply Retweet Favorite
  • I know that feeling of not being confident when you speak, butterflies in your stomach, shakes in your voice, impos… https://t.co/TGgVC1fEEC

    08-Aug-2022

    Reply Retweet Favorite
  • Fascinating study into how deaf people listen to their inner voice https://t.co/IQMNLTmiTX https://t.co/QMJfYMceqf

    08-Aug-2022

    Reply Retweet Favorite
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Linkedin
  • Youtube
  • Email
Footer Logo

@2021 - Caroline Goyder. All Right Reserved. Web Developed by TCREATIVE


Back To Top