Caroline Goyder
  • HOME
  • ABOUT
    • Caroline
    • TEAM
    • Books
    • TEDx
    • TESTIMONIALS
  • COURSES & PRODUCTS
    • RESOURCES
    • Master Your Meetings Course
    • GRAVITAS ONLINE TRAINING
    • GRAVITAS & CONFIDENCE TRAINING
    • Books
    • Audible Readers Gallery
    • DIGITAL VOICE COACH
    • Gravitas Method audio course
      • audio series one: find your gravitas
      • AUDIO SERIES TWO – MEETINGS WITH GRAVITAS
      • AUDIO SERIES THREE – PHONE CALLS WITH GRAVITAS
      • AUDIO SERIES FOUR – PITCHES WITH GRAVITAS
      • AUDIO SERIES FIVE – PRESENTATIONS WITH GRAVITAS
      • AUDIO SERIES BUNDLE – THE COMPLETE COLLECTION
      • MINI AUDIO DOWNLOADS
    • MINI AUDIO DOWNLOADS
  • WORK WITH US
    • book Caroline to speak
    • Book Coaching With Us
    • book caroline for training
  • BLOG
    • BLOG
    • VIDEO BLOG
  • in the press
  • Contact

Caroline Goyder

Banner
  • HOME
  • ABOUT
    • Caroline
    • TEAM
    • Books
    • TEDx
    • TESTIMONIALS
  • COURSES & PRODUCTS
    • RESOURCES
    • Master Your Meetings Course
    • GRAVITAS ONLINE TRAINING
    • GRAVITAS & CONFIDENCE TRAINING
    • Books
    • Audible Readers Gallery
    • DIGITAL VOICE COACH
    • Gravitas Method audio course
      • audio series one: find your gravitas
      • AUDIO SERIES TWO – MEETINGS WITH GRAVITAS
      • AUDIO SERIES THREE – PHONE CALLS WITH GRAVITAS
      • AUDIO SERIES FOUR – PITCHES WITH GRAVITAS
      • AUDIO SERIES FIVE – PRESENTATIONS WITH GRAVITAS
      • AUDIO SERIES BUNDLE – THE COMPLETE COLLECTION
      • MINI AUDIO DOWNLOADS
    • MINI AUDIO DOWNLOADS
  • WORK WITH US
    • book Caroline to speak
    • Book Coaching With Us
    • book caroline for training
  • BLOG
    • BLOG
    • VIDEO BLOG
  • in the press
  • Contact

How To Speak Up in Scary Meetings

written by GoyderCaroline

Have you ever had a meeting in the diary that looms over you? The formal board room environment. The senior audience. A sense of being judged, examined, tested. And potentially found wanting?

These meetings can be a uniquely unpleasant experience. Clients regularly tell me (at even the most senior C-Suite levels) how much they dread them with every sinew.

You get into the room and everyone fights for air space and they all sound so confident (even if afterwards you can’t remember a word they said). You want to speak up and then you miss your moment and the conversation veers off and you can’t keep up, or bring it back on track. And then you worry you haven’t said anything so you speak up and your voice sounds weird and maybe you said something stupid. You wish you hadn’t. Then someone asks you a question and because you’ve been beating yourself up you haven’t been listening.

In my rather unscientific anecdotal research (i.e. listening to clients talk about their worries) this vicious circle of fear and loathing in board rooms is a very, very common experience.

And here’s what I’ve learned about making sure you keep your centre and stay confident.

Be Purposeful: Set your focus – one clear outcome to achieve. It can be as small as, to get a smile, to win the attention and respect of X, or as big as to get the deal. It gets you into a flow state – the nirvana of sporting heroes and business titans alike. The focus stays in the game / meeting, rather than in your head. It allows you to be, what the improvisation guru Neil Mullarkey calls “intentive” (intention + attentive = intentive).

Be Prepared: Don’t veer from meeting to meeting. Give yourself 15 minutes between each one. Turn off your phone. Get calm, centred. Relax. Go for a quick walk if you have time. Mull on what your audience need from you. Keep it positive – how can you help them?

Join the Dots: So often meetings become a pointless point scoring exercise. And a massive waste of everyone’s time. When they go low you go high. Do what my wise friend Joanna Motion calls “joining the dots”.  Listen for the common threads, notice the patterns and themes emerging. When you speak build on the threads that others are creating, so you weave the meeting together rather than talking at each other.

Yes And: A tool that helps you join the dots is the powerful phrase from improvisation “yes and”. When you want to speak, build on the previous idea with a “Yes, Peter, great point, and…..” It allows you to flow gracefully into the conversation without feeling that you are interrupting.

Own the room: And finally, when you speak, make sure you own the room. It’s like driving in city traffic, you have to do it with confidence, or other people won’t make space. Be bold. Sit up, feet grounded. Press your arms gently into the chair or table to give your voice power. Send your voice to the back of the room (no muttering or whispering). Be concise, framing, a maximum of three ideas and a summary. Then close mouth and go back to intentive listening. It’s all about the quality, not the quantity!

How To Speak Up in Scary Meetings was last modified: February 5th, 2018 by GoyderCaroline
6
Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest

You may also like

Are you ready to speak up and...

Why does my voice tighten when I...

Feel Every Word: How to use your...

Caroline on Twitter

  • Signs that you’re in a toxic workplace environment, and how to let go https://t.co/P9h7q2QxQR via @Yahoo https://t.co/FMO4vgKc5j

    03-Jun-2023

    Reply Retweet Favorite
  • If you'd like to book me to speak at an event here's what you need to do! https://t.co/q7ylnHZZAf https://t.co/sCtZUMMWZg

    03-Jun-2023

    Reply Retweet Favorite
  • Stay calm under pressure...https://t.co/0xAhecvdJc https://t.co/ZdC6gbFgHF

    02-Jun-2023

    Reply Retweet Favorite
  • Reframe adrenalin as excitement/focus. Think I’m lucky to be here. This is exciting. Accept the feelings: When the… https://t.co/HCHTvDFfsI

    02-Jun-2023

    Reply Retweet Favorite
  • Get yourself my confidence booster course - currently FREE! https://t.co/YuZGgFeeXN https://t.co/7oI0iH7m39

    02-Jun-2023

    Reply Retweet Favorite
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Linkedin
  • Youtube
  • Email
Footer Logo

@2021 - Caroline Goyder. All Rights Reserved.
Website Developed by TCREATIVE

Privacy Policy - Cookie Policy


Back To Top
We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept All”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent.
Cookie SettingsAccept All
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
SAVE & ACCEPT
Powered by CookieYes Logo